August 22, 2012, 2:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

When I first came to college I was interested in church, so of course it wasn’t strange for me to find myself in this thing called ‘lifegroup’ the second week of school. I was in a roving pack of girls, so together the six of us found ourselves in this house where cool older people lived and we sat and talked about Jesus as if He really was God and really was alive, or something…

We were 18, and connected at the hip. But in the ‘lifegroup’ we met this other girl who was our age, really cool, really cute, and happened to have a 1.5 year old son in tow. She obviously didn’t live in the dorm with us. Throughout that year we became friends, and we ended up staying in lifegroup together for the next four years.


Abbey and I were discipled together for much of the time we knew each other, which meant that we got to be best friends, walking through life together, sharing the deeper stuff and pursuing Jesus together. I got to be a sideline spectator as she was a full time student and single mom of the most BOY boy I have ever met. I got to see the way she handled the pressure of it all. And in her life I saw what God later defined for me as patience.

He said: Patience is death. It is declaring that my needs are not my god, but that I trust in the Lord, in His ways and His timing. It is taking my ‘self’ and putting it in the backseat. Patience is the work of loving. As I look to another’s highest good and my Father’s timing and process, I die- becoming less so that He might rise within me. Patience is being ok with His process. Patience is trust. Patience is stepping out of the prison of time, and agreeing with God about my priorities, which means disagreeing with my schedule, my aspirations and the expectations of men.

Sometime later in college we started talking about, not so much a husband, but a father for Matthew. We heard a teaching about identity and it stressed the change that happened between the 3 and 5 and the need for an awesome man to be present in Matthew’s life. Before Abbey came to college she had been talking with God about Matthew, and his need for a father.  God assured her that HE would provide for them and be Matthew’s father. He said that lifegroup was going to occupy that place in Matthew’s life as well.  Abbey spoke with a few men in our community, and invited them to be in Matthew’s life in a greater capacity. They started having man dates.





Sometime around then, Abbey agreed with the Lord and went on a dating fast, where she didn’t even allow her heart to pay attention to crushes, or wonder about guys. She was so faithful to that. Looking back, the idea of a young single mother in college choosing to completely take herself out of the running for marriage was outrageous. As my father has often said, “You’ll never be around this many single men again.” She died to herself, and allowed God to be in charge of her timing and her life. She accepted his provision for Matthew, even though it didn’t look exactly like what she would have imagined.


In our senior year, God spoke to Abbey and released her to begin to hope for a husband. She asked each of her close friends to claim a day and pray for her husband to come soon! We prayed like that for six months. Then, Abbey went on a mission trip with the church to Haiti, and saw the fruit of her prayers. There was this amazing man on that trip! That same summer Matt Larsen began to pursue her in a dating relationship. You can ask any of us here in Waco, and we’ll tell you, you’re not going to find a better man than Matthew Larsen. And at their engagement party, Matt told us that as he had prayed about Abbey, God told him he had been made ‘for such a time as this,’ to step up and be a father to Matthew.


Abbey did not fear, fret or worry. She trusted God, and lived her life as a slave to righteousness and not a slave to Matthew’s need for a father or her need for a husband. She trusted God to take care of that need.  She stepped out of the timeline of ‘ring by spring’ and disagreed with ‘common sense’ about the expectations for her life; and in return she was given a journey with God that speaks to the testimony of His faithfulness and a great treasure in Matt Larsen.



1 Comment so far
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🙂 🙂 🙂 love both of you.

Comment by mary linds

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